Don’t get me wrong: I love a good train analogy as much as the next person.

I’ve sent out a fair few press releases in my time about projects or plans being “on track” or seeing “light at the end of the tunnel”. Used sparingly, they’re fine. But you can have too much of a good thing.

That’s how I feel after listening to another train analogy from Jonathan Van-Tam, England’s deputy chief medical officer.

This is what he has told us so far about the progress in the availability of coronavirus vaccines:

“This, to me, is like a train journey where you’re standing on the station – it’s wet, windy, it’s horrible – and two miles down the tracks, two lights appear and it’s the train. And it’s a long way off. We’re at that point at the moment. That’s the efficacy result.

“Then we hope the train slows down safely to get into the station. That the safety data.

“And then the train stops. And at that point the doors don’t open. The guard has to make sure it’s safe to open the doors. That’s the MHRA [Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency], that’s the regulator.

“And, when the doors open, I hope there’s not an unholy scramble for the seats. The JCVI [Joint Committee on Vaccination and Immunisation] has very clearly said which people are going to need the seats most and they are the ones who should get on the train first.”

You certainly need to be in a comfortable seat to be able to follow that particular journey.

And now we have this further offering from the Government’s coronavirus briefing:

“What a fantastic journey. I gave you the train analogy many weeks ago now. 

“The train has now slowed down safely. It has now stopped in the station. And the doors have opened – that was the authorisation by the MHRA.

“What we need now is for people to get on that train and travel safely to their destinations.

“Those destinations are all over the UK. This train is going to stop several times on the way, it’s going to have to reach all parts of the UK. 

“There are going to be several trains coming behind it and that is all going to take time.”

I wonder where this will all end.

The analogies are taking us on a journey which even the most seasoned timetabling schedulers, the most experienced drivers and crew, the most alert signallers would find it difficult to follow.

I’ve yet to work out whether I’m still on the platform, on the train, have a seat, have left the station, am part-way on the journey or have reached my destination.

It may all be very amusing to keep these tortuous analogies going in an effort to explain complicated science to a general audience but I fear when I listen to these rail references that I’m on a runaway train heading for the buffers.

My advice to JVT: it’s time to slam on the brakes.